Chapelle Show Skits

[ben351]

All the good ones are here ...

http://okmdiliza.xanga.com/714244353/the-dave-chappelle-show-skits/

Enjoy :)

[Brockas]

UNITYYYYYYYY

[adrenalin]

haha love chappelle show so many classic.

Niggar family skit was gold

[ben351]

i know what you niggas are like with paying bills

[Anaru]

Partner swap one is gold

- I'm from the hood man, G-Unit
- Is that right? G-g-g-g-ggg-g- Get Yo ass in tha car.

[TJ]

Best. Show. Ever.

[TJ]

I got a song for you too bitch it's called daughter don't sing

[adrenalin]

Wheres that timmy he sure is 1 lazy niggar

Samuel Jackson beer one was also good.

Samuel jackson beer it will get you drunnnnnnnnnnnnk !

[Joe]

I got a song for you too bitch it's called daughter don't sing

LOL, Silky Johnston ftw.


...


"That was Beautiful. On the weekends, Beautiful does stunts for Little Richard in gay movies."


"Now that man I'd hate to fight. Cause she wears underwear with dick-holes in 'em. "


"I'm very upset about what you said about my coat. I made it outta your mother's pubic hair. "

[OLSKOOL1800]

Best. Show. Ever.

+1

Was watching season one last night, disc two (player haters ball)
Love that skit and the World Championships of Dice...
Buuurrr Burrrr.....

[Joe]

+1

Was watching season one last night, disc two (player haters ball)
Love that skit and the World Championships of Dice...
Buuurrr Burrrr.....

Marcy Projects, Marcy Son.. WHAT.

[adrenalin]

Is there anything i can help you with sir
HERWHHAAAATTTTTT!
Is there anything i can help you with sir
HERWHHAAAATTTTTT!
Is there anything i can help you with sir
HOOOOOKAAAAYYYYY

excuse me madam will this reflect on my frequent flyer miles

[TJ]

My name? Leonard Washington.

Where I'm from? A little town called none of your god damn business.

[KyeBidz]

FIF

[TJ]

America don't want to see how I'm working, amerrrrica want to see how I'm living for the citayyyy

[Brockas]

FIF

haaaaaaahahahahahah I PLEAD DA FIF!

[RS_Gav]

Best 7 minutes of my life....

<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/index.jhtml'>Chappelle's Show</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'<a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24419&title=the-playa-haters-ball'>The Playa Hater's Ball<a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/'>www.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:24419' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://shop.comedycentral.com/?v=comedy-central_shows_chappelles-show&SESSID=870783e1901f9dd5c2769413fc45aa24'>Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/index.jhtml'>Black Comedy</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11909&title=hes-rick-james'>True Hollywood Story</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>

[TJ]

Can I be real? Real real
be real son

that nigga tried to kill my fatherrrrr !

[TJ]

Hitlers mumma got one big tittie and one small tittie and they call the bitch biggie smalls!



.... I can do this all day :D

[ben351]

i got it wrapped up in this special CIA napkin

[TJ]

Yes bitch I'm sure!

[MISS 13B]

Much Chappelle love.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

[FitzyB]

Konichiwa bitches

Brilliant series, great to crack em out and relive the laughs, sooo much good stuff in there

[Shauno]

i PLEAD THE FIF

Funnies skit EVER!

[adrenalin]

Tyrone is fucking gold as well

[Brockas]

We're lucky enough to have one of Chappelles guest stars on this forum...

Kyebidz as Billy from the make-a-wish sketch!
http://thumbnails.truveo.com/0005/00/01/00010BFB68BB2BC6289A57_Large.jpg

[schnoods]

You'll never feel quite the same,
When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains,
I wanna poop on you too,
I want to pee in your food,


So many good skits:lol:

[YOUR MATE]

This isn't going platinum, it's going double uranium!

[ho57ile]

Yes I'm sure, bitch!**

Sorry had to correct, use this all the time. My fav show by far, every skit is gold.

+1 to the mtv cribs skit.

[TJ]

fuck shoe closet, I got my own sweat shop nigga god damn!

[ho57ile]

:) The exact quote I was trying to think of.

Then Jasper said "Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be *me*."

[TJ]

woogie boogie nigga! woogie boogie!

did he just call us niggas? sweeeeeet

[ossie_21]

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it!!

[Splat_man]

"you've got some great new york boobs"

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

LOL, best thread and show ever!!!

So many good ep's.

- Wayne brady crashes chappelle show. "Hoes, Dave. Dave, hoes. Good evening, bitches"

- Tu Pac remix.

- Tyronne Biggums - SHAAZAAAAM

- Dave: Fuck Nick Cannon! Dave Chappelle!
Kid: He's Hilarious.
Dave: You know what you're acting like a little bitch!

- "Motherfuckers take one more step, I'm kicking this nigga out the motherfucking window."

- Hahahaha Sesame street ep, LOL.

- R. Kelly - I wanna piss on you...

[sky_high_psi]

Agreed best show ever! one of my favourites...

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"A sugar cookie man this is crazy..."

[mitchy]

is this the 5 o'clock free crack giveaway???

what are you going to do with the money?
i'm going to re-invest it back into the community.
that's goo...
psyche! i'm gonna spend it all before you honkys change yo mind!

[MISS 13B]

And of course, the so-called Beautiful.
Why don't you click your heels together three times and go back to Africa.

Yeeeeeah. Whaaaaat

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x118/jolly_67/dchappelle.gif

[ho57ile]

Can we extend to stand up quotes? Two of my favs.

"Don't do that nigga, thats five to ten"

and

"Uh uh, can't buy weed and pussy with disney dollars"

[mitchy]

the BEST stand up quote....

somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. the house was too nice. it was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it.
they'd be like "he's still here! *whack* oh my god. open and shut case, johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. apparently this nigger broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere."

[ho57ile]

"WHATS ALL THIS, CHOCOLATE ON YOUR FACE, MOTHER FUCKER?"

"chocolate? This is doo doo baby!"

"AHHHHHH"

[HANS YOLO]

had to repost!
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'Mars Bitches' :)

[MISS 13B]

the BEST stand up quote....

somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. the house was too nice. it was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it.
they'd be like "he's still here! *whack* oh my god. open and shut case, johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. apparently this nigger broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere."

"Just sprinkle some crack on him"

[TJ]

bitch i live in fucking trashcan, im the poorest mother fucker on seaseme street, aint nobody helping me

[MISS 13B]

Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit, he knows the law. If one of us even starts to do something wrong, a old black man will pop out of nowhere..."nigga, don't do that, that's 5 to 10!"

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

No embed allowed for this one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxogl5C6ano&feature=related

[mitchy]

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[RS_Gav]

I highly recommend watching that whole show. Killing them softly. Classic early Chappelle.

[mitchy]

yup, seen it quite a few times, and the newer one "for what it's worth" which i just watched it for about the 100th time. :p

[coFF33]

the outtakes on the last DVD (special features bits)
of the player haters ball, is fucking amazing

also , no ones mentioned the fucking AWESOME stylings of Paul Mooney
"Mooney on movies"
"Ask a black dude"


Amazingly lol

"everybody wanna be a nigga but dont no body wanna be a nigga"

"I got a movie for ya, maybe they produce my movie, called, The last nigga on earth.......... Featuring Tom Hanks"

rofl

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[MISS 13B]

His Native American one always has me in tears.

Time out chief!! Sorry to interrupt. I'm fuckin smashed man, the weed is too strong. I'm itching, is this PCP? The spirits have got me. Chief, the spirits have got meeeee!

:lol:

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[mitchy]

those indians got hiiiiiigh as shit!

[XF Falcon]

"The Mad Real World" skit is great.

<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/index.jhtml'>Chappelle's Show</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11885&title=the-mad-real-world-introduction'>The Mad Real World - Introduction</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/'>www.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:11885' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://shop.comedycentral.com/?v=comedy-central_shows_chappelles-show&SESSID=870783e1901f9dd5c2769413fc45aa24'>Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/index.jhtml'>Black Comedy</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11909&title=hes-rick-james'>True Hollywood Story</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/index.jhtml'>Chappelle's Show</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24413&title=the-mad-real-world-sleeper-hold'>The Mad Real World - Sleeper Hold</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/'>www.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:24413' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://shop.comedycentral.com/?v=comedy-central_shows_chappelles-show&SESSID=870783e1901f9dd5c2769413fc45aa24'>Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/index.jhtml'>Black Comedy</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11909&title=hes-rick-james'>True Hollywood Story</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/index.jhtml'>Chappelle's Show</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24411&title=the-mad-real-world-katie'>The Mad Real World - Katie</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/'>www.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:24411' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://shop.comedycentral.com/?v=comedy-central_shows_chappelles-show&SESSID=870783e1901f9dd5c2769413fc45aa24'>Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/index.jhtml'>Black Comedy</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11909&title=hes-rick-james'>True Hollywood Story</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/index.jhtml'>Chappelle's Show</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24415&title=the-mad-real-world-end'>The Mad Real World - End</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/'>www.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:24415' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://shop.comedycentral.com/?v=comedy-central_shows_chappelles-show&SESSID=870783e1901f9dd5c2769413fc45aa24'>Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/index.jhtml'>Black Comedy</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11909&title=hes-rick-james'>True Hollywood Story</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>

[ben351]

His Native American one always has me in tears.

Time out chief!! Sorry to interrupt. I'm fuckin smashed man, the weed is too strong. I'm itching, is this PCP? The spirits have got me. Chief, the spirits have got meeeee!

:lol:

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I <3 You !!

best part of his stand up !!!!

[miksta]

woogie boogie nigga! woogie boogie!

did he just call us niggas? sweeeeeet

and after 19 years of marriage he has recently filed for divorce and when we asked him why, his response was 'Coz she's a nigga lover'.lol
White Power