Tips for Dumping Your Girlfriend

[evilvl]

Now I've had my fair share of relationships and break ups. I want to dump my current girlfriend because after 3 months I've realized she's a bitch and I think it's time to get creative.

So far all I have is:

Telling her I'm moving to Somalia to become a pirate

Faking tourettes and seeing how long until she breaks up with me

Shaving her head while she's asleep - I probably won't do this because it's likely to end in violence on her part

Anyone got any ideas/experiences to share?

[EYEH8HSV]

tell her your gay LOL

[Alt_F4]

Just make move on her friends, sisters, mum, dad, pet dog whatever.
That'll sort her, or you'll have a weekend to tell your mates about.

[evil1]

tell her to fuck off?

[TJ]

post pics of her here and allow one of jims mowing franchisees to take her off your hands?

[LooneyToons]

+1 for infamous hitting on friends is always a good 1

[MikeS14]

tell her that her muff is too hairy

[Evilteddy]

Go out shopping and return with a packet of condoms, a roll of polony and some butter and tell her it's time to experiment with some warm butter and the condom over the polony roll, and say 'if you say no, i can no longer be with you.'

[TJ]

And if she says yes?

[miksta]

Tell her you have been watching some German porn and theres some 'shit' you would like to try with her.

[Evilteddy]

And if she says yes?

Then i don't see why he would want to break up with her :)

[spyder]

sell ur wrx ;)

[fourseven]

Make sure you want her gone... nothing worse then ending a relationship and suffering afterwards because you miss her and know she's got some other guys cock in her mouth :)

Otherwise, tell her straight. Fucking her over or hurting her more then you need to will create a raving lunatic for the next bloke who wants her. Not good for our side.

[Halle Terry]

Get some nudes of her and put them on Facebook.

[TJ]

Get some nudes of her and put them on antilag.


Fixed

[miksta]

Hai 5

[Slip_]

Go out shopping and return with a packet of condoms, a roll of polony and some butter and tell her it's time to experiment with some warm butter and the condom over the polony roll, and say 'if you say no, i can no longer be with you.'

ahaahha

[tmz_99]

put nair in her shampoo bottle... (make sure to mix it in a little, otherwise the smell will give it away)..then wait.. :)

[Roobiks]

when she's at work, break into her place and do a big nugget on her pillow, sms her saying there's a surprise waiting at home.

[Nsanity]

tell her she is a pingpingpingping of a thing and you fucked her best friend = win every time

[Denver]

stick it in her ass, then fire up some A2M on her, that should end it nicely

[mitchy]

stick it in her ass, then fire up some A2M on her, that should end it nicely

damnit, i was going to say smash it in her ass..
if she doesn't complain, she's a keeper.

[ben351]

Simple ...



Introduce her to me.



She will never speak to you again.

[kurbn]

smash it in the ass no lube.. they love that

that or a pink sock.

tell her shes getting fat?

asking a question like that you didnt expect to get a serious answer did you :P

just flat out ignoring call's and emails has worked for me in the past.

[JBAE]

Now I've had my fair share of relationships and break ups. I want to dump my current girlfriend because after 3 months I've realized she's a bitch and I think it's time to get creative.

So far all I have is:

Telling her I'm moving to Somalia to become a pirate

Faking tourettes and seeing how long until she breaks up with me

Shaving her head while she's asleep - I probably won't do this because it's likely to end in violence on her part

Anyone got any ideas/experiences to share?


How is she a bitch? ....

no need for dog acts less its warranted dude,
if it is then its game on....

[ho57ile]

Push the evnvelope, see what you can get away with before she ends it with you.

[Drift_R32]

tell her your gay LOL

whats the truth gonna prove ? haha

[ben351]

you should prob not break up with her and be thankful youve actualy found someone stupid enough to go out with you.

[evilvl]

Yeah I didn't expect any serious answers. I mean come it, it's easy to end a relationship, I just want some creative ideas.

She is a bitch for a lot of reasons, she's just kept it well hidden until now. Undoubtedly I will miss her once this is over, but if we're not right for each other then better to end it so we can both go look for more suitable partners.

So far I like TJs idea, and Tmz_99s nair in the shampoo bottle. Although I don't want to do anything in my house or anything that will cause her too much grief otherwise I'd just shave her head while she's asleep or supaglue her clothes on her.

[JBAE]

if its just apersonality clash and nothing MAJOR man up and end it....

and that is comming from a proper pingpingpingping :)

[miss_petepie]

why not tell her shes a bitch and f off?

[monk_13]

+1 for fucking the sister.

Works a treat!

[JBAE]

ahhh fuck it Pepperspray anything that shes likely to touch prior to touching her BOX then sit and wait :) or just a light dusting of her underwear drawer :)

[Halle Terry]

If she dosn't smoke;

Over the next few weeks keep putting nicotene patches on her, wait for her to get addicted, then admit you did it for a laugh.

Put weight gain shit in her food.

[JBAE]

SHOOT HER!!!!

[wadragracing]

+1 for increasingly weird sexual requests.
If she does it - win.
If she doesn't, breaks up with you - win.
I fail to see the problem?

[YOUR MATE]

Invite all your mates over, when she gets home and see's them say you didn't know how else to suggest a gang bang.

[Halle Terry]

^^ Hahahaha

[cowboydave]

Straight after sex, tell her she is not as good as her mum in bed and she should ask her for some advice on how to suck dick properly....

[kurbn]

too far?
http://www.selleys.com.au/images/UserUploadedImages/15/P_SelleysNoMoreGapsMultipurpose.jpg

[quadeyquade]

Flirt with other girls in front of her. This way, you might even get a new gf straight away

[JBAE]

why dont you just fuck another man and make sure she catches you that way gives foundation to the IM GAY call

hey just putting it out there

[Butcher]

You could just be selfish in the sack, eventually she will get sick of it and dump you? :op:

[Bomber]

Take out a full page advertisement in the West Australian asking *insert (full) name where she got the crabs from with a photo of her included (preferably with tits/vagoo showing).

Post pics of her here too so we know who to watch out for LOL

[JME]

...shit in her morning coffee, sure to get a reaction.

[YOUR MATE]

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[INSINR8R]

...shit in her morning coffee, sure to get a reaction.

its a bit nutty...

[Autopilot]

Tell her she's a pingpingpingping, nothin' like honesty.

[Silencio]

introduce her to brockas, he will sort out the rest

[YOUR MATE]

Send a break up message via stripper to her work, or at her parents place.
Sell all her things to buy porn.
Tell her to dress in your clothes during sex. Call her Greg.
Go to her house and accidentally drop 7 plates.
Call her at 3am to see if she's awake. Repeat 15 minutes later.
Tell her your taking her on holiday somewhere flash, make it out to be some huge event like a month in Vegas or something. Let her tell all her friends about it, then flat out deny ever organising such things so she looks like a liar.

Man there's lots of ways to be a pingpingpingping..

[Onijin]

Suggest a gangbang with several other chicks.

[schnoods]

Crazy Gecko:idb:

[INSINR8R]

Send a break up message via stripper to her work, or at her parents place.
Sell all her things to buy porn.
Tell her to dress in your clothes during sex. Call her Greg.
Go to her house and accidentally drop 7 plates.
Call her at 3am to see if she's awake. Repeat 15 minutes later.
Tell her your taking her on holiday somewhere flash, make it out to be some huge event like a month in Vegas or something. Let her tell all her friends about it, then flat out deny ever organising such things so she looks like a liar.

Man there's lots of ways to be a pingpingpingping..

Last one is funny as fuck :lol:

[ACTIV3]

Just Say You had a one night stand and you got the girl Preggers lol

[RICEY]

Karmas a bitch.

Tell her its not working out, youre sorry and youre moving on.

If she wont accept that, beat the living shit out of her with a baseball bat.

Actually that will probably make her love you more so dont do that.

Just pay someone to kill her.

[coFF33]

serious answer, seein as i been in this situation ~ 1 year ago

step 1. be distant and vague as much as possible and see her as little as possible. make excuses to work on car / see mates / etc. basically, find a way to get into an arguement with her (the above 2 suggestions should cause her to want to argue with you)

step 2. Get your "assets" in order, take anything you may have left at her house. and take her stuff back to her house. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, IF YOU DONT DO THIS STEP, SHE WILL HAVE REASON TO CONTACT YOU CONSTATNLY

Step 3. Springboard from the arguement to the break up. Easy done, be straight with her how u feel, tell her its not working FOR YOU, and that you jus dont feel "it" anymore.

Step 4. SEVER CONTACT FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, unless she basically says shes gonna top herself, then maybe contact her to make sure shes bullshitting.


Step 5. Be happy.

[Bomber]

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Cassic!!! Lollapolooza

[2LV8ETR]

Dip her tampons in Dencorub.

[Alt_F4]

Stop brushing your teeth for a week, eat peanut butter and onion sandwiches with a glass of milk religiously in this period.
Smile and kiss her alot.

[cactus]

Just tell her its not working lol, a lot easier than the rest of the shit said here. However, I have laughed very, very hard at some of the comments posted. Funny shit!

[Steppo_GT]

I'm with cactus. Its not working out and i don't see this going anywhere is what I'd say.

The last thing you want is to do something stupid to her and then it come back to bite you later on when you go to try for another relationship..

[Jimmy_S]

Im just wondering how your still with her considering she's obviously done something pretty nasty to you, so much so that you are seeking additional advice on how to be particularly nasty back to her?

If not, and your just trying to be a bastard about it, then your an idiot!

[Darklove]

My ex caught me having a pull while watching gay porn and dumped me on the spot. Might be worth a shot?

[stumps.]

shit in her letterbox, she probably wont know its you but it will be funny non the less

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

My ex caught me having a pull while watching gay porn and dumped me on the spot. Might be worth a shot?

Hahahahahahahaha

[Denver]

My ex caught me having a pull while watching gay porn and dumped me on the spot. Might be worth a shot?

Admitting to pulling yourself over gay porn?..

you fucking homo

[luke20t]

someone just show her this thread..

[RICEY]

Admitting to pulling yourself over gay porn?..

you fucking homo

not as gay as banning burnouts !!

[duste]

Suggest a gangbang with several other chicks.

Mine's all for it though haha.

[sdkh]

My ex caught me having a pull while watching gay porn and dumped me on the spot. Might be worth a shot?

Dudeeee! w....t....f

[Drift_R32]

Mine's all for it though haha.

Location: SOR @ Hammond park - explains all haha jokz

[TJ]

not as gay as banning burnouts !!

KEK

[PAGZ]

stop being a pussy and just end it u weak pingpingpingping.

[2LV8ETR]

My ex caught me having a pull while watching gay porn and dumped me on the spot. Might be worth a shot?
Innovative....... But fuck man, you should have logged on as a guest to throw that one on here.

[SimonR32]

i have very good ways of killing unwanted girlfriends if breaking up causes you to much hassle!

[ttomred4000]

beat her with a phone book she cant prove shit, leaves no bruises

[tomcio]

reverse psychology - ask her to marry you

[Bakerboy]

what if shes says yes though then ur fuked

[Midnight]

if she says yes leave the country!

[2LV8ETR]

Chain her to a pole in the middle of the kitchen, then rip her vocal chords out with a wire coathanger.
Instant cook/dishwasher....

Dishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlex!

[mc68]

Chain her to a pole in the middle of the kitchen, then rip her vocal chords out with a wire coathanger.
Instant cook/dishwasher....

Dishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlex!


yeeaah pretty normal

[Slip_]

beat her with a phone book she cant prove shit, leaves no bruises

+1

[Pete]

sign her upto some singles site, then when she starts getting phone calls and shit ask if shes cheating on you, then cut sick.


got done to a mate.

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

Chain her to a pole in the middle of the kitchen, then rip her vocal chords out with a wire coathanger.
Instant cook/dishwasher....

Dishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlex!

Fuck, I feel sorry for your missus

[Darklove]

Admitting to pulling yourself over gay porn?..

you fucking homo

Your only gay if you take it.

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

Your only gay if you take it.

So watching it makes you completely straight???

[Darklove]

So watching it makes you completely straight???

you going to ask me out ?

[SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS]

So watching it makes you completely straight???


you going to ask me out ?

Hahahahahaha Sorry Mate NO. My Missus didn't leave me. SO no DESPERATE measure's needed.

[anton]

Get some nudes of her and put them on Facebook.

umm this is by far the best one out there.... its a WIN WIN for all

[Tocchi]

get adrian (insinr8r) to continually send her rude sms's until she cant handle it haha
cheers man ! hahaha

[Mad_Aussie]

Fun to talk about being a pingpingpingping to people, but theres a few things you need to think about here...
Firstly, you're asking on a public forum how to break up with her? Simple solution, sms/msn her the link to this thread. Problem solvered.

Second, you've been seeing her for 3 months and are agonizing over how to break up? Fuck! I had a lot of drama ending my last one after 3 years, hard due to the actual love that was there. But shit man, 3 months is still within the free trial period! Just say "You are possibly contributing to my future erectile dysfunction and should probably fuck off". Its not worth it.

But don't be a prick about it, or you'll get karma sticking its dick in your arse

[Anahera]

You guys are horrible!!
I cant say I have ever been dumped like that! hahahaha

Dude your within the "Probation Period" just tell her that her probation period has come to an end and you no longer require her services! (u can tell I used to work in HR)!

Nah seriously just be nice to her, be honest and tell her there are plenty of guys out there that would treat her how she wants to be treated!

Say your not ready for a committment! Trust every girl will believe that coz all you guys are the same! lol no guy wants commitment! :)

[AGIT8D]

What about committing to a different girl every night?

[Mad_Aussie]

What about committing to a different girl every night?

works for me atm

[Darklove]

lol no guy who can consistantly pull varied pieces of hot flange wants commitment! :)

edited for truth

[Anahera]

LOL

[JBAE]

LOL naize

P.S- is this finally starting to backfire?

my bet is he will do fuck all....

[AGIT8D]

She dumped him ages ago I bet lol

[Brockas]

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