Things you shouldnt say to your boss..

[Roobiks]

ok so I like a good joke.. mum jokes especially.. my boss knows this, sort of, well he does now, and he doenst like it. :S


Boss: He looks like he's in some pain (talking about an email with pics from bull running)

Me: Your mum looked like she was in pain, but I kept going.




What have you said to your boss/supervisor that you probably shouldn't have?

[Brockas]

Me - "fuck thats a funny movie, we were watching that here last night... oh i mean..."


Boss - "you brought a dvd player into work??"



Probably our fault for watching RAW when we were supposed to be working...

[Muppet_Guy]

Not exactly my boss, but close enough, had a baby recently. Not gonna say his name for privacy reasons, but he has the same last name as a famous porn star we might all know.

Boss in a happy tone: "My wife gave birth to our daughter last night!"

Me: Oh congratulations! What's her name?

Boss in a happy tone: "It took us a long time to come up with one. We named her XXXX (<---not gonna say) and we love it!

Me: Holy sh|t!!! Are you serious??? *trying to hold my laughter as much as I can* Perhaps you should have googled it first mate!

...and off he went and he did hahahahaha!!! And perhaps he shoudl have watched more porn in his life too lol!

[Slip_]

i didnt say anything... it was more an action...

matt and chris will remember this one, when i was being trained...

Liz: "Jim keep and eye on your ergodynamics... not the best image..."
Me: *two fingers over top lip doing the adolf hitler mustache*
Liz: "Jim i take offence to that actually..."
Me: "ahhhhhh carrrn!"

then i had to actually apolagise to her... seriously...

mole...

[WRCjosh]

i was there cock head! I enjoyed it anyway, fuck elizabeth, its FOR PLAY geddit?

[Slip_]

hahahaha yeh probably

LOL!

na man its not FOR PLAY...

its FOR PLAY get it?!?!?!?

4 PLAY!

[ossie_21]

Not exactly my boss, but close enough, had a baby recently. Not gonna say his name for privacy reasons, but he has the same last name as a famous porn star we might all know.

Boss in a happy tone: "My wife gave birth to our daughter last night!"

Me: Oh congratulations! What's her name?

Boss in a happy tone: "It took us a long time to come up with one. We named her XXXX (<---not gonna say) and we love it!

Me: Holy sh|t!!! Are you serious??? *trying to hold my laughter as much as I can* Perhaps you should have googled it first mate!

...and off he went and he did hahahahaha!!! And perhaps he shoudl have watched more porn in his life too lol!

Just say only the first or last name then, but as a guess I will say your bosses last name is Jameson?

[redline07]

Boss:"This new santa fe has a top speed of 190km/h"
Me:"Yeah but they won't go past about 180"
Boss:"How do you know this?"
Me:"Ah......i dunno...just heard from one of the guys"

[TJ]

I can add one just now.

Showing my something online, I commented how slow antilag was to load.

"your net is slow as, it never loads this slow, I should know I'm on it all day"

He just looked and semi smiled haha.

[Muppet_Guy]

Just say only the first or last name then, but as a guess I will say your bosses last name is Jameson?

No, not that one. The pron star holds one of the records in the gang bang category haha!! I won't mention the name coz some people know where I work...

[Blueraven]

worked at a video store for 4 years while i was studying..

one day was pissed off with some customer, and said in front of my manager and another full time older woman: "I cant wait to finish uni and a get a real fukn job".

yeh didnt go down too well .

[Skitzo]

No, not that one. The pron star holds one of the records in the gang bang category haha!! I won't mention the name coz some people know where I work...

what difference does it make.. u think we r going to go to ur work and pull the piss out of his daughters name.... has ur boss and his lady friend changed the name since u filled him in.. or birth cert and stuff allready processed...

[ben351]

Jasmine st Claire ?

[Muppet_Guy]

Nah, it's all processed and stuff. Probably jsut want to forget about it.

Either way, I'd rather not tell. The pron actress was one of the first that did it, back in the 90s if you need it narrowed down enough... she's even been on Jerry Springer. That should be enough of a clue for ya if you know your pron history well :D

[Blueraven]

annabelle ;)

[Muppet_Guy]

Nik, you know your stuff!!! :D

[Skitzo]

Nah, it's all processed and stuff. Probably jsut want to forget about it.



oh thats unlucky.....

[ben351]

Ron Jeremy ?

[RMX]

251 sex acts in 10 hours is quite an achievement..

[Muppet_Guy]

In fairness, that is not the actress's real name so...

What is the record now? 800 something?

[ben351]

251 sex acts in 10 hours is quite an achievement..

Normal weekend for celebrities around here.

[Blueraven]

no idea why anyone would want a record like that...

garunteed Slut/STD spec 4 lyfe.

also one of my high school teachers name was Jennifer Haze. Close but not quite..and she was a real minger anyway, unlike the real miss jenna haze :wackit:

[Philthy]

Me - "fuck thats a funny movie, we were watching that here last night... oh i mean..."


Boss - "you brought a dvd player into work??"



Probably our fault for watching RAW when we were supposed to be working...

LOL i heard about that u anthony and bru did fucall for an entire shift i heard hahaha.

thats just as dumb as when u leave bottles of drinks at work that u swipe from the fridge and boss finds them the following day

[Denver]

annabelle chong, she nailed 1000 guys in 24 hours from memory

[Muppet_Guy]

annabelle chong, she nailed 1000 guys in 24 hours from memory

You got bad memory then :) She did 300 men in 10 hours lol!

No chick has done 1000 guys in 24 hours yet :eek3:

[Evilteddy]

I used to use this one alot...
I'd walk into work and the manager would already be wanting me to do something... so anticipating what people would usually say upon greeting being 'How are you today?' i changed my answer a bit...

I walked into work, and the manager says 'Hey Glen, Can you...'
Before she got another word out i shouted "GOOD THANKS DONNA!" and walked straight out the back before she could realise what just happened...

I was lucky she was a cool lady... i tried it with the state manager a week later, got in a bit of strife :(

[SLEEKA]

me: "fuck that kate chick is hot, i would bend her over any time of the day"

boss: "thats my neice..."

he was a good bloke and just laughed it off haha

[wadragracing]

Not to a boss but to workmates.

"Why isn't YouTube working?"

[Seeker]

Everyone was talking about the new receptionist at work and I didn't know she was in the room next to ours (just in the kitchen grabbing a drink)

me: "that was hell funny how we got an email about the new receptionist, and you just go 'nah we checked her out she aint that good"

boss does that yanking collar thing. hahah

Luckily she didn't hear.

[INSINR8R]

I started work as a courier about a month ago and after the first week they asked me how I was finding it.

"Oh its fucken great, I take corners as fast as I can and see how hard I can smash boxes against the side of the van..."

I got the dirtiest look, then they pissed themselves laughing.

[31-EVO]

Boss " Hey Kim, I made a bit of a mess in your work bay with some coolant can you clean it up for me ? "

Me " Sure thing "

Boss " Thanks champ "

me " pingpingpingping"

[BIGS]

You got bad memory then :) She did 300 men in 10 hours lol!

No chick has done 1000 guys in 24 hours yet :eek3:


Brings new meaning to "whos the father of the baby"

[Slip_]

me: "fuck that kate chick is hot, i would bend her over any time of the day"

boss: "thats my neice..."

he was a good bloke and just laughed it off haha

LOL!

[mc68]

Boss: "hey Andy, reckon u can work a few hours extra tonight, i know you're not doing anything"

Me: ohh sure, no prob, cvnt face

*pause*

Boss: 'dont be like that, cvnt lips'