FUNNY SAYING

[ben351]

Hahah im a frequent user of this saying but have never really stopped to think about its origin …

Pulled up at one of our suppliers today to pick an order up an I was in the GT-P …

Old fella inside pokes his head out … “ nice car son, bet she goes like a SHOWER OF SH!T “ … to which I replied “ yeah she goes allright “

Now i stopped an thought for a second …

Hang on how fast can a shower of sh!t go ?
What happens when it goes faster then a shower of sh!t … is it a saturation of semen ?
Who was the first to have a sh!t shower ?
And when he was having it … what made him think … “ jeez this sh!t moves pretty fast “

Little things like this that get me thinking …

Anyone else got any ideas or thoughts to share ?

[TJ]

I'd like to share that your a looper.

[yumafia]

:lol: Ben ur the 1st to stop and think about shower of ****

[ben351]

nah yous know what i mean ... smart arse

[ben351]

Can you imagine sayin “ that car goes like the time I was in the bathroom an I turned the tap on an poo came out “ … see what I mean when you break the saying down it really doesn’t make any sense

[Yipes]

As dry as a dead dingo's donga, who tested that?

[[2_FLY]]

The guy i crew for in the boats has more sayings than i can keep up with. I`ll start a thread when i go over east and update it daily, its like a new language.
Some examples off the top of my head:
"That chicken was as dry as an arabs fart in a dust storm"
"Its as close as **** is to swearing"
"show me your gutted ewok"

[princessjess]

haha they're so funny gav.

"get a big black dog up ya!"

wtf does that mean?

sounds painfull tho..

[princessjess]

and 'dead as a doorknob' or even 'dead as a doornail' go figure?

good topic ben, its got me thinking haha.

[Brockas]

"your blind as a bat"

Bat's actually have quite acute vision.

[McKVNT]

I thought bats just had wicked sonar? not great eyesight.. still i guess you could say they still have good sight..

[[2_FLY]]

"that bloke couldnt find his arse in the dark with both hands"
"he couldnt drive his way out of sight on a dark night"

[Twe12ve]

"your blind as a bat"

Bat's actually have quite acute vision.

bats are blind and rely on sonar - sonar reflects off things and comes back to them. Josh was right.

[Brockas]

Uhh no Brendan.

They use echolocation combined with vision, not instead of it.

Do some research, I'm right. :)

[princessjess]

'you couldnt fight your way out of a wet paper bag'

[[2_FLY]]

"couldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight"
"couldnt have the fluff knocked off a cupacino"

[McKVNT]

echolocation, also called biosonar

microbats use echolocation due to living in dark areas ie caves
megabats mostly do not use echolocation and rely on sight..

interesting stuff

[princessjess]

'as funny as cancer'

'laugh my ass off '- surely impossible

[[2_FLY]]

i`ve noticed the word bastard is very versatile aswell, can describe alot of things "cold as a bastard"
"hot as a bastard"

[Yipes]

May your chooks turn into emus and kick your ****house door down

[Twe12ve]

Uhh no Brendan.

They use echolocation combined with vision, not instead of it.

Do some research, I'm right. :)

you are an arshole. but you are completely right :)

http://science.howstuffworks.com/bat2.htm

[princessjess]

'couldnt get a root in a brothel'

[Twe12ve]

LOL thats pretty easy to understand!

"Dirty as a Dead Boong's Dick!"

[[2_FLY]]

"couldnt organise a fart in a curry eating contest"

[355LX]

"As funny as a fart in an elevator"........have tried it......no-one laughed

[Miami]

A lot of the early examples of sayings in this thread are forms of alliteration (eg "shower of ****", "dry as a dead dingoes donga", etc).

Australian society was founded by Pommy convicts, if you recall. A large proportion of these were of the lower class, Cockney types, who had a well developed form of rhyming slang even back in the 1800s (eg "dead horse" = sauce).

This style of language was carried over to Australia by its settlers, and has since evolved to include a lot of "ridiculous" sayings with a fairly local flavour, that play on the use of alliteration as well as just rhyme.

Covered this sort of thing in a 1st year anthropology unit a few years back, looking at cultural language phenomenons, the emergence of rap, etc.

[Twe12ve]

not bad man not bad...

[nihilism]

'couldnt get a root in a brothel'

Couldn't organise a root in a brothel with a fist full of fiftys. - Use that one a lot.

[Miami]

Personal favorite at the moment, not so much an ockerism tho - "its not rocket surgery!"

[ben351]

i heard a funny saying that desribes Ronaldo ( Brazil soccer player ) to a tee ...

" that kunt could eat an apple through a tennis racket "

i use " its as hot as a nun today " quiet often ... when you think about it nuns wear black ... so they would get hot often

[bodybodyrock]

Personal favorite at the moment, not so much an ockerism tho - "its not rocket surgery!"

isnt the saying "its not rocket science" ???
or "its not brain surgery"

[Miami]

isnt the saying "its not rocket science" ???
or "its not brain surgery"

Noooo.....thats the amusing part of it - seeing the looks on peoples faces as they think to themselves exactly what you're thinking :lol:

Yeah, my sense of humour's warped.

[P-S-I]

its as dry as a nuns c*nt,
describes many things

[Brockas]

"scream at the top of your lungs"

would this not require you to point your head down and yell very loudly at your chest?

[Joe]

"I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck"

"Mate I gotta piss so bad, my back teeth are floating!"

[ben351]

“ That chick was so hot that I would crawl on my hands an knees through broken glass just to hear her fart into a walkie talkie “

well … actually I would do something like that :D

[RICEY]

I really hate "cant have your cake and eat it"

Why the fark would you have cake and not eat it...

[RICEY]

She had a face like a welders bench

She has the face of a careless beekeeper

Her head looks like a half sucked cough lolly

[[RX2]]

head like a dropped pie

face like a burnt thong

been chasing parked cars

[ben351]

face like a piece of punched polony

[hurtinit]

i could eat the crutch outta a menstrating skunk

dry as a nuns nasty

[big o]

head like a twisted sandshoe

head like she has lost a few pub fights

OB ( oinion booty ) make's a grown man cry

[Miami]

"going off like a frog in a sock"

"swinging like a rusty gate"

"picked it like a dirty nose"

[[RX2]]

gay as a bag full of butterflies

[Joe]

Her face looks like someone tried to put out a bushfire with a bike chain..

She's got a head like the back of a fridge

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

[Yipes]

Face like a smashed crab

[PT-R]

she could suck start a harley
as ugly as a hat full of a*holes
she could suck a water melon thro a picket fence
(old one)= if me dog had a face like yours ild shave its ass and make it walk backwards
had a fight with the ugly tree and lost badly

[Sully]

i would say the shower of sh!t comes from someone having a bad case of the sh!ts after a curry night. those sh!t showers move pretty damn fast.
goes like sh!t off a chrome shovel. who tested that?
sh!t a brick.
gayer than aids
smart arse. where the hell did that come from?
funny fukcer. that makes no sense.
bruises called shiners. when i last got a bruise it wasn't too effing shiney
and where the fukc did "strewth" come from?

[CORDIAL]

"corners like a dog on lino" haha... that always makes me laugh.. just picturing a dog caning it and trying to corner on lino... arse end hangs out front paws scrambling for grip haha.. well, it gives me a chuckle anyways

[mitchy]

"i could eat the back wheel off a menstral cycle"

[jagerbomb]

"runs like a sailors d!ck"
or
"sore as a sailors d!ck"

- can also sub in ni**a (dark skinned fellow) for sailor.

[princessjess]

so hungry i could eat the cruch of a low flying duck..

she could suck the chrome off a tow ball
or
suck a golfball through a garden hose

[WRCjosh]

'shes got a head like a twisted sandshoe'
'shes got a head like a grated cabbage'

hahahaha

[ben351]

" she was so ugly i wouldnt even fuk her with your d!ck "
thats a lie cos id fukc anyone with my d!ck ... :)

" she was that ugly ... there wasnt enough alcohol behind the bar to get me to fukc her "
another lie ... a dozen burbons an im anyones :)

[princessjess]

"face like it was on fire and put out with a screwdriver"

lol

[ben351]

lol thats a good one jess ....

[Miami]

"i wouldnt plss in your mouth if your tongue was on fire"

[radddavey]

you couldn't organise ice cubes in antarctica

[S133LTR]

when any sort of hottie walks into the workshop... "rather be half way up that then a ten foot gum tree"

[deadCA18DET]

`head like a half chewed mintie`
`going off like a bucket of prawns in the sun`
`id use her **** for toothpaste`

[princessjess]

'dont get ya knickers in a knot'
or panties in a bunch

(the word panties sounds so decrepid lol)

'goin like a bat out of hell'
'flat out like a cut snake'

[deadCA18DET]

`head like a half chewed mintie`
`going off like a bucket of prawns in the sun`
`id use her **** for toothpaste`

[1JZNOSHIT]

"head like a dropped mango"
"face like a bashed crab"
"as dark as Kamahal"

[Riggs]

Happy as a pig in s**t

Your not worth the steam off my s**t

As tight as a Nun's c***

[Miami]

"Like a rat up a rafter"

[deadCA18DET]

For milfs - `Fvck trophy`

[princessjess]

to have a ' frog in ur throat'

'bored as bat ****'

[Yipes]

FREEZE YA ARSE OFF - if only
FREEZE YA TITS OFF - no thanks

[[2_FLY]]

Head like a robbers dog
Ugly as a hat full of arseholes
Head like a smacked arse
Looks like her face was on fire and put out with a bike chain
Head like a bashed crab
Head like a dropped pie
Head like a burnt thong
Busy as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest
Busy as a bricklayer in bahgdad
Running around like a blue arse fly

[princessjess]

'happier than a one legged lesbian on a po-go stick'