Im Being Stalked by Spiders

[Morgs]

For some reason I must be attractive to spiders. :mad:

Its started ever since we got downstairs renovated and cluttered the garage full of crap so we can only fit one car in it. So the daily is outside overnight ever day which I didnt think was a problem.

Well apparently it is, because its become the target residence of a number of nasty looking huntsman. Ever noticed the spider webs on your mirrors or doorhandles? Thats them. The bastards are hiding somewhere.

The first one I came across was a large one which was sitting right on the door sill as I opened the door one morning. Scared the hell out of me. I attempted to squash it with a uni textboox (We're talking $80 of hard hitting educational muscle here guys), took a leg off the thing but then it ended up IN the car... not good!!

So I went up to the house for some reinforcements; A can of bugspray. I proceeded to spray the @^## out of the interior... next thing I know who else would come out, running on 7 cylinders/legs but old mate huntsman. Now being a fair man, I saw this clown hobbling along the road desperatly running for its life, so I let the fella go. The humane thing to do. But that couldve turned out to be a big mistake.

Once I cleared the poison fumes of the bugspray out of the car, I enjoyed a couple of weeks of spider free motoring. Until of course, I got back into my car at a shopping centre, and what else do I see crawl up into the dash from under the accelerator, but another large brown huntsman.. it was definately a different one, not as big as the first one. Home was 10 minutes away, so I traveled quite cautiously, arriving at my destination and immediately grabbing the afore used can of bugspray.

Voila, after much spraying the bastard drops out of the dash and onto the floor, running around. This time the $80 textbook of fury made its mark, turning the spider into an unrecognisable hairy piece of spider-flesh. I felt like i'd finally overcome my problem.

Retiring to my bedroom for the night, I switch my lamp on and am about to go to bed when what else do I see on my wall but another Huntsman!! Didn't take much for me, and him to realise that he is about to experience the pain of an $80 textbook, which soon resulted in his demise.

The following day, I closed my bedroom window. The window had a huntsman on the outside. But it was the outside, so I couldn't be bothered killing it. I let this one go, just like the first one.

However, danger was to strike once more. When leaving work just yesterday, the mother of all huntsman crawled up my windscreen. Inital thoughts were that it was on the inside, but it was on the outside. I got my trusty textbook out, and got out to confront it. Damn. It was HUGE... One swipe of the textbook and it was hit off the car. I went off to squash it on the ground. It saw me and hid under the car. Sly bastard. I jumped back into the car and hit it, off in a fury of wheelspin, hopefully to have left it behind.

I hope it didnt grab back on and is on the car again. Surely this has got to be the end of my spider stalking because frankly im getting pretty pissed off by the whole thing. Im going to have to drop the chemical equivilant of a nuke on my car just to stop them :rolleyes:

Anyone else got similar stories to share (holy shit mine was long). Anyone got any suggestions or want to buy a spider ridden daily driver? :p

[SmItLeR]

dude u should write a book :)

[Lancey_B]

keep some spider eating animal in your car, example a spider eating monkey (do they exist?) doubling as a car alarm, a cup holder and if you desire a driver!

[Nizmo]

.....and this is why kids we need a whore thread :p

[suburban]

hahaha

morgs, spiders give me the shits, they are the things that make me jump round a cry like a bitch.. cant stant the fuckers. a hard object is the best solution.

with the one on the outside of your window, i would have cranked the winscreen wipers and amused myself... but i can see the spider gettin pissed and hiding where it shouldnt, again making you pack yer pants..

i had a large blowfly land on my arm while driving yesterday (didnt know it was a fly at the time) and i did the whole shake arm flick thing in a combo while trying to keep the car goin straight...

fucker is stiill in the car somewhere, been parked at mrs' for a day now.. wonder if he fried in the heat (/me dont want any surprises while driving home tonight)

bastards...

[Nizmo]

at home there are garden beds where i park ...... i often discover a worm (not just nay worm big huge evil hybrid looking ones) on my windscreen on the mornings ..... lil phuckers can hang on til about 160km/hr ..... then they start to come unstuck :rofl:

[McLOVIN]

Rick please get off the 'shrooms.


You're trippin foo!

[summoner]

:eek3: at spiders hate the fuckers *shudders*

[Nizmo]

nancy boys :p

[d0p3y]

ROFL Rick, Man, I'm arachnidphobic, My car better not get full of spiders while it's living at your joint!!!!

[Morgs]

lol.. Im definately not keen on the things!
If I see one ill kill it more or less :o

Seriously... why so many spiders?? Can't they just bugger off and find something else to live in ?

[tomee]

fark reading that...
cliff notes??

[MrMayhem]

I had a spider grab my neck and bite me the other night ...... felt like a bee sting the lil shit!

[suburban]

well your still talkin on irc, so it cant be that bad.

i walked thru a web lastnight twice. first time was on the way to get a dvd, second was same place 15 mins later.. talk about not learning the first time

hybrid worm.. haha sounds fucked, get a pic ;)

i think the only thing that scares most blokes more then an empty fridge or marital commitment at a prime age is a big hairy spider... so being a nancy, yes, i cant argue wiht that

[backspace]

Snakes and spiders scare the shit out of me. But ive grown up with both.(I spent the first 10 years of my life on a farm in the hills.) Youd think i would be use to them but im not.

But huntsmans arent that bad. We get massive fuckers. The biggest one ive seen in the house was about 15cm across. But atleast they cant hurt you.

On saturday it was quite warm, i walked out onto the veranda, and i counted about 13 different spiders going at their home making, and as i walked down the veranda, i counted another 4 or 5 running around.
So count yourself lucky that youve only got three huntsmans, and not 20 or so scary looking fuckers that are poisonous.

Wolf/trapdoor spiders, now they're the scariest spiders ive ever met.

Altough meet a snake up close, such as a tiger, brown or red bellied, and soon youll wish it was a spider.

[suburban]

ok. i cant argue with that backspace.. :)

[Nizmo]

yes well a spider bite left me in the emergency room on new years day .... i was at perth cup and my whole foot blew up like a balloon ..... emergency room said it was lucky i didnt leave it over night or i wouldnt of been very healthy in the morning .... they even entertained the possiblity it could be a snake bite because of the two punctures and the severity of it .... but i really think it was a spider .... i wouldve felt a snake!

[McLOVIN]

fark reading that...
cliff notes??
This aint OT. Leave that shit for Pooformance Forums.



I got bitten by something (assume it was a spider) while moving some stuff out of the garage a while back. Couldn't find the fucker. Went to the doctor, he confirmed it was a bite. Gave me an antihystamine shot. The shot hurt more than the bite, but it had me trippin big time. Almost as good as morphine :D

[Nizmo]

awww they didnt give me any shot ..... they wanted to keep me over night on IV .... but i have this fear of hospitals and the prospect fo that jus tput me in shock and i started shaking n shit so they sent me home with a prescription for a few different Antibiotics and told me to come back if it gets worse .... mustve been bad because as soon as the pharmist read the prescription she goes to me "You poor thing"

[BDP]

well rick, you know if theres more than one in your car then theres a good chance they are nesting in it. they like to make their nests up in the wiring looms under your dash and they have many many babies at a time. i think they'd breed about 5 times this summer. moral of the story? wear long pants

[Lord_Muck]

None of you people live in the bush do you?

Before our house was completed we used to sleep in the shed (12m x 9m and 4m high) but it seemed to attract plenty of wolfspiders and huntsmans. One day i woke up staring at a Huntsman the size of my hand about 5 inches infront of my face. I have never gotten out of bed so fast. If you want i'll catch you one Nizmo and give it to you as a cruise present hahaha.
Spiders are only scarey if they are ON you, snakes on the other hand are a scarey thought at close range (unless y0 packin heat lol)

There's my $3.50 worth (now where's my sticker????)

[Nizmo]

oooh pet huntsmen what i always wanted :rolleyes:

nah seriously i dont like spiders but i would have a pet snake if it didnt take a license etc ..... i was in charge of all the reptiles at school ....goannas, snakes etc

[suburban]

pet snake :D

thats called a boyfriend. haha

one of my mates got bitten a few times (seperate occasions, infact the night of my 21st) and was bein 'matt' (slack, cant be fucked goin to doctors, tired) about it. ended up goin and they got heaps off puss (jar full) out of his leg. was in hospital etc etc

few weeks later, same shit again

[WRCjosh]

our house is overrun by the little (read massive) bastards atm... We got a epedemic of those black house spiders... went outside and theres webs all over the trees and about 6-10 big black fuckers on each tree (5 trees = alot of spiders). Im the same as everyone, scared to SHIT. Put my shoe on the other night to goto work, my spidey sense was tingling, so i jam my foot down hard *SQUISH*. pull my foot out quick smart, half a redback hanging off my toe, dead thankfully. Got the shivers something chronic tho!

Fuck spiders!!!
Josh

[B0BB0]

hahah rinaldi hahah

he asks for it

[Rickmate]

we've just moved out in the sticks (right near barbagello raceway), and im just now discovering the beauty of this little bastards.. or should i say big, we've had 2 in quick succession, bloody huge ones too.. one was hidden in my jacket, damn glad i chucked it around before i got to wearing it, you would have heard a girl scream ;)

Rick

[AndyMac]

Morgs wishes he could get bitten by a spider so he gets to wear a tight fitting superhero outfit :)

[suburban]

no shit he does...

[Morgs]

I don't need to get bitten by a spider for that :D

I got into the car the other night and there was a lil baby huntsman hanging off the roof doing the web thing. Looks like they have laid eggs... I think im going to have to nuke the car :(

[McLOVIN]

Alcohol has the same effect for Morgs.

Could explain what happened to his bag, and why he was jumping in and out of bushes.

And why he woke up half naked with his window wide open.

[suburban]

yeh get the nuke out morgs and bomb the car

should kill anyting that movess

[AndyMac]

Let the spiders live

[suburban]

would you say that if there was one on your leg :D

[stacked]

hahaha spiders don't really bother me.

I hate fucking bees

not to mention be allergic to them, but allergic in a very special way, basically i get stung, i start tripping out like a mother fucker

[Morgs]

Let the spiders live

I am a fair man... and im willing to let the spiders live,
If you are willing to swap my daily for your R33.... that way you can let the spiders live.... :D:D:D

Otherwise.....
:hammer:

[AndyMac]

If you saw your mum being smashed with Uni Test Books.......What would YOU do ?

Revenge is an interesting concept when you have fangs, 8 legs and maybe some poison...

Note : YES! I know huntsmans aren't toxic. Still, I'm sure whatever they inject is probably not as good as drinking coke...might be close thou.

[73RRA VR4]

i was bitten by a huntsmen, i was in emergancy room at 3am one morning because of it, i couldnt see, an my hearing was going, plus my whole body was puffed up, kinda like they marshmellow man, the hospital staff were preparing for me to have had some kind of reaction to drugs :P but i found the lil huntsmen in my bed the next day dead

[suburban]

you'd hope the fucker was dead, or it wouldnt have been long till he was.

stacked - bees - cheaper then drugs :D

[stacked]

dam straight it's reall fucked up like smoking lots of buckets but without the muchies

[DriftR]

hahaha man that happened to me too morgs not as bad tho.

driving home talking to friend at lights
Big huntsmen walks up windscreen i quickly put up window and he walks over it and i nail it to make him fall off. stopped and looked for him, no trace. good his is gone

next day driving all morning fine. then stopped at lights on parra rd.
he comes up the windscreen exact same spot and inside onto the roof near my head then back out up goes window. get to work no trace of him.

to this very day i dont know where he is hehehe
but i havent had a visit from him for a while so yay!

[suburban]

only problem with power windows is they go up at a constant speed. no good for situatuions like this :)

good ol manual windows go up as fast as you are shittin ya pants :)

[SmItLeR]

i got a spider in the left rear-view mirror - fkn pingpingpingping keeps laying fkn webs an shit all over the mirro every fking morning! i'm for eva wiping the shit off but i cant be fked/ dont know how to dismantle the mirror to get the prick.... was thinking when i get really really bored one night i'll stayup with a torch - deodorant can and a lighter and catch the fker

[suburban]

dug this one up...

few days ago i had just got home. opened the door, turned on the lights and right next to the switch was the big hairy pingpingpingping of a spider.

uugh *shudders*

got the good ol mortein and painted the fucker white in foam.. eventually got the balls to grab it (dead) with paper towel (lots). ended up squishing it then scraping it onto the paper (was in a corner)

I
HATE
SPIDERS!

[evil_weevil]

dont worry morgs,
i had a huge mother of a huntsman crawl up my leg during peak hour traffic - bumper to bumper on pacific hwy!!!!! i screamed like a little girl! (gary - kinda like how you said! :D ) i hit it and it went 0onto my gear stick, then i got m water bottle, and it crawled onto that then threw it out the window, the bottle did, spider fell off and landed on inside passenger door! got out of car in peak hourtraffic and opened passenger door and hit it,hit it hit it and jumped and screamed like a little bitch ! heheheh everyone around me would have been pissing themselves!

[Mike_Hunt]

Your all biatches.. i had a pet scorpion years ago.. was awesome, feedin it watchn it whoop ass on all sorts o little creepy crawlies. That is until i noticed heaps of little tiny babies on it's back the bitch. Then i looked in one day and she (and young) was gone.. needless to say it was an uncomfortable nights sleep i had.

[RooF]

Yer spiders aint fun. My girlfriend will wake up in the middle of the night, rip covers off, turn the light on and scream franticly of a 'possible' spider being under the sheets, funny the next morning but makes me think there's a bloody axe murderer in the room with all the drama.

Happens once a month easy.

My mates GF woke up one night with something stuck in her ear, had an ear-ache and got worse to very painful, turns out a cockroach wanted a spot to live in and ripped half her eardrum out when the doctor removed the sucker. She sleeps with her ears covered now, that story makes me scared.

[RooF]

yer also one time I was getting my wetsuit out of the car to go surfing and threw it on the ground, big hairy huntsman crawled out of it, would of cried to death if i zipped it up with that inside..

actually fuck spiders... sick of walking in there webs

[Morgs]

Update: spiders have decided to restrict themselves to the mirrors of the Commodore. No other cars have been affected, and I havn't felt threatened in some time. Oh, and there is a huntsman living in the loungeroom.

[McLOVIN]

What's with spiders shacking up in car mirrors?

[Shaolin242]

ok check this - i was in my backyard doing some benching - so i was lying on my back looking up at the bar whilst doing reps...i feel something crawling on my hand and its a fucking spider!!! not some bitch-tits grass spider but some scary ass thing that was WHITE for a start and fuck it was big!!!! well..i couldnt really drop the bar (as i would have died) so i had to GENTLY lower the bar and put it down...then i did the manly thing which was to jump up, shake my hands and make scared noises...its FUCKING scary when u cant just hit em away....

[RooF]

Yep can agree with car mirrors, my old bunky > Nissan Bluebird Wagon | full schiiiiiiick | always had webs over the mirrors and regular huntsman apperances on the windscreen.